All Things Dark Romance
- mzrylan
- Oct 25
- 8 min read
If you’ve ever felt too soft, too broken, too complicated… this genre will show you you’re not alone. Bratty Patsy Bookstagramer
Can you tell us a bit about how you discovered dark romance?
I had a close friend to me suggest ACOTAR and I started that which propelled me back into reading. Then we went to a retreat and i chatted with tons of other women about their book reads and came home to dive right into some DR.
What was your first dark romance read—and how did it make you feel?
Credence & Sovereign were my first true dark romance reads. Credence was hotttttt but a little too taboo for me in the beginning. Sovereign on the other hand, opened my world up to SO much I didn’t realize I had been missing.
Is there a particular trope that you’re currently gravitating toward?
I LOVE me a possessive/obsessive stalker or MMC, who did this to you, touch her and die, forced proximity, enemies to lovers are just some of my go to tropes.
Was there a moment in a book where you felt something click emotionally—like a truth you didn’t have words for until then?
There have been quite a few books where I read something during a spice scene and during an emotional scene where I went – YESSSS! Most of those moments have made me either felt seen, understood or finally safe.
In what ways did reading dark romance help you process or confront past trauma?
Reading DR has helped me confront my own shame and judgment around sex and sexuality as well as the desires one craves. For so long, with being raised super religious, there was always this shame around sex and sexual exploration and even around humans having sexual desires. Diving into all these stories and different tropes and kinks has helped me normalize my own desires and kinks. It has also given the ability to talk to my husband so we can create a safe space for the both of us, emotionally and sexually. It’s been such a freeing experience as I no longer feel like I’m hiding or pretending to be someone I’m not.
Were there particular characters or storylines that made you feel seen or understood?
Oh so many! But a few books like Praise by Sara Cate, Twisted Love by Anna Huang and The Ritual by Shantel Tessier are some I can think of off the top of my head. It’s been the finding strength, power and safety in submission that has been healing for me.
It felt like I didn’t have space to be angry, messy, or even selfish. But these books? They crack those pieces wide open. Seeing characters survive trauma, reclaim their power, and fall in love without needing to shrink themselves -Bratty Patsy
How did reading darker themes in fiction make it feel safer—or more approachable—to reflect on your own experiences?
Reading dark romance gave me permission to feel the things I’d buried deep. As someone who’s always been the “good girl”—the people pleaser, the one who kept the peace, followed the rules—it felt like I didn’t have space to be angry, messy, or even selfish. But these books? They crack those pieces wide open. Seeing characters survive trauma, reclaim their power, and fall in love without needing to shrink themselves made it safer for me to explore the parts of myself I’ve spent years quieting. The parts that wanted to scream, to say no, to choose me.
Were there any emotional releases, like crying or journaling, that happened because of something you read?
Oh ALL OF THE TEARS — and many conversations with my husband.
Did these books help you reframe your understanding of power, control, or vulnerability?
100%!!! I used to think being in control meant holding everything together, looking the part, staying quiet. But these stories showed me that real strength can come from surrender, from speaking up, from choosing yourself—even when it’s messy. There’s power in softness, too. While also, sexually, Realizing how much control and power a submissive truly has helped me see that I’m not “powerless” in those moments.
Dark romance often includes themes of control, consent, and reclaiming power. How did reading these stories help you understand or reinforce your personal boundaries? Reading DR helped me realize just how blurry my own boundaries had become. I’ve always been the one who bends, who over gives, who avoids conflict to keep the peace. But these books? They forced me to confront how much of myself I’d been giving away just to be seen as “good.” Watching characters reclaim power—especially through control, consent, and choosing themselves—helped me understand that my no is sacred, and so is my yes. Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re protection, permission, and proof that I’m allowed to take up space on my own terms.
Did you feel more comfortable exploring taboo topics or desires in a safe, fictional space first?
Absolutely! Reading about them and then also engaging with the bookish community online really helped me release shame and fear around new kinks or things that peaked my interest
It made me question what I thought I knew, helped me understand myself more intimately, and gave me language for things I’d only ever felt in fragments. -about Raya Morris Edwards and her book Sovereign
Has reading about characters navigating trauma made it easier for you to communicate your own needs or limits?
The thing that I love about reading is that sometimes it is really hard to put into words what I am needing or how I am feeling, so finding the words within a book that really helps me further communicate and even process myself, my own trauma and the things I need to recover and heal.
Has reading about dominant or submissive dynamics helped you better understand your own relationship with control, pleasure, or trust?
Yes, 100%. Reading about dominant and submissive dynamics helped me unpack a lot about how I relate to control, both in relationships and within myself. Living with OCD, control has always felt like survival—like if I could just manage everything perfectly, maybe I could avoid the anxiety, the spirals, the chaos. But these stories showed me that letting go can be just as powerful. That trust isn’t weakness. That pleasure doesn’t have to come from perfection—it can come from surrender, from being fully seen and still fully accepted. It made me realize that control isn’t always about holding on tight… sometimes, it’s about knowing when—and with whom—it’s finally safe to let go.
How has reading dark romance impacted your sense of self or confidence?
Ha, my husband and co-workers would agree with me that it has completely. I feel I am becoming so much more comfortable in my own skin and talking to others about my trauma, desires, and everything in between.
Have any characters or scenes helped shift how you view your body, your desires, or your worth?
I will be very raw and honest on this one – for my desires it has helped me shift my view of them and of myself completely! I no longer fear expressing the things I desire or even think might sound fun/interesting. As far as the view of my body, that’s been a hard one still and very hit or miss in boos for me. My body type isn’t normally worshipped or written about and while I understand why societally, i still desire to see a FMC written like me and even mentioning the body dysmorphia one like me navigates. Because we all do in our own ways.
Did you ever see your own insecurities mirrored in a character—and how did they help you reframe your story?
I’ve always been the “good girl”—the one who showed up for everyone, followed the rules, kept the peace, even when it cost me pieces of myself. So when I read characters who start off just like that—self-sacrificing, overlooked, trying so hard to be enough—and then take their power back? That hits different. It makes me feel seen. These stories helped me realize that I don’t have to earn my worth by constantly pouring into others. I’m allowed to choose me, too.
Do you feel that fiction gave you “permission” to explore ideas or feelings you were once ashamed of?
In a way, yes. It created a safe space to explore thoughts, desires, and emotions I used to feel ashamed of or tried to suppress.
Have you connected with other readers who share your experiences? What has that community meant to you?
The community has been everything! The support, the love, the encouragement, the connection. It’s honestly been one of my favorite things about joining the bookish community!
What’s one misconception about dark romance readers that you’d love to clear up?
One big misconception about dark romance readers? That just because we love certain tropes—like obsession, control, or taboo dynamics—it means we want that in real life. Spoiler alert: fiction is a safe space to explore the messy, the dark, and the unspoken without wanting to live it. And no, we’re not just reading smut for the sake of it. These stories carry depth—layers of trauma, healing, emotional growth, and raw vulnerability. The spice is just the surface… it’s the soul underneath that keeps us hooked.
How would you describe dark romance in your life today?
Dark romance, for me, is more than just a genre—it’s a mirror. It’s helped me reconnect with the parts of myself I used to shrink, and it’s taught me that desire, anger, grief, and power can all exist in the same breath. These stories have become a space where I feel seen, cracked open, and sometimes even healed. They remind me that I’m allowed to want more, to take up space, to be soft and strong. It’s not just fiction—it’s a reclamation.
Can you name an author or character that helped you the most—and why?
I’d say Raya Morris Edwards. Her book Sovereign completely opened up my world in a way I didn’t expect. It wasn’t just about sex—it was about the psychology behind desire, kink, and the deeper emotional layers woven into certain tropes. It made me question what I thought I knew, helped me understand myself more intimately, and gave me language for things I’d only ever felt in fragments. That book didn’t just entertain me—it shifted something inside me.
What would you say to someone who thinks dark romance is “too problematic”?
“Too problematic?”
Sweetheart, it’s fiction, not a how-to guide.. or is it but in all reality, if you’re ready to explore the messy, the morally grey, the uncomfortably real—pull up a chair. Just don’t confuse fictional chaos with real-life standards. We know the difference. 😉
What would you say to someone who is afraid to explore this genre because of their past trauma?
I get it, completely and honestly, you know yourself better than any stranger. With that said, I will say, don’t hold yourself back from potentially exploring and healing in your own way. What helped me might not be the path for you and that’s ok, while also don’t let fear keep you from doing the hard things.
Is there a message you’d like to share with others who may be struggling or unsure if this genre is for them?
If you’re on the fence about dark romance, or worried it might be too much for you—just know this: it might actually be exactly what you need. These stories aren’t just about spice or shock—they’re about survival, healing, reclaiming power, and finding love in the shadows. If you’ve ever felt too soft, too broken, too complicated… this genre will show you you’re not alone. It’s messy, it’s raw, and it might just help you see yourself in a whole new way.
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